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Abducted By Aliens! - New York, 18 July 2002
The abduction/ransom note! |
18 July 2002 - The morning in Trenton was hot and muggy. I couldn't breathe too well when I went outside to move the Festiva at sweeper time. I started thinking that at this rate, if I go to New York to meet some friends I wouldn't make it in the ultra compact toy that isn't equipped with air conditioning (can you say base model, without even some of the normal bases? No home run possible with this baby!) -- plus the thing was making weird noises lately and it might just die along the way and I don't have a cell phone to call for help.
Marion and I were instant messaging and I told her of my quandary -- should I or shouldn't I? She, being her usual totally positive self, said that I should go -- this I already knew, but I kept coming up with excuse after logical excuse to call the whole thing off. OK, I really didn't want to miss at least 30 minutes at the MacWorldEXPO, and then finally get the opportunity to meet some of the really fabulous, caring people on the aapl board (most of whom I only know as a nondescript screen name), so I took a quicky shower, donned the 3rd Snoopy shirt I recently was lucky enough to acquire -- even took out of its minty fresh case, an automatic Swatch watch with a kewl Key Lime band I got years ago in the Canaries (In Our Hands Earth Summit 92) -- and I actually remembered to take the addresses where I was supposed to meet everyone, and my digital camera, mat board and colored markers -- and I was on my way out of Trenton at 16h.
With the window half open it wasn't all that sizzling hot inside the Festiva -- but then the several Turnpike construction delays began to appear! To make a shaggy mastodon story brief, I finally arrived in the Big Apple at 19+h -- only twice+ what it normally takes me to race there! I had to change plans quickly, and headed straight to our meeting place for dinner -- which had theoretically begun over an hour ago. Luckily my sense of direction was fine tuned somehow and I easily found where 43rd Street was, but started looking for a parking space on 42nd between 5th and 6th Avenues -- of course everybody knows that noone can ever find a space to park in The City! Maybe I was plain lucky, as I had been for many years already, but I was able to squeeze the Festiva in a kewl spot a few yards below the entrance of the Bryant Hotel. There was some kind of a kewl park with functioning carousel just across the street.
OK, so I hobbled up the street, dodged through a parking lot that went to 43rd, and finally found my way to Colbeh. A neato-looking place -- formal tables all set up, but nobody except a few waiters standing around enjoying the air conditioning. Where is Dan and his Apple group, I asked. They were abducted by aliens, and here is the ransom note, one of the dudes said, as he handed me the above note, with official letterHEAD. Oh, well, another abduction -- nothing special, after all this is New York and stranger things do happen here all the time. It said the hostages were around the corner -- so off I went.
The Bryant Bar was the code word -- and just up from the vintage carved wooden hobby horses, there was an outdoor bar -- No, they weren't there among the huddled masses yearning for another drink. OK, so there was a building packed with alien-looking creatures -- would they be there? NO -- that was a private party of out-of-this-world investors who came for the Expo because they heard that a new iPod was being introduced, and their technology hadn't progressed too far from that documentary movie on the subject - The Pod. By this time I was sweating and half dehydrated -- not exactly a specimen that any extraterrestrial would want to add to his collection, so I continued searching for Dan, Donna and the rest of the gang. WOW, another bar way at the end -- let me try that one. It was totally packed with happy-looking peeps, all standing with perhaps 3" of space between each other -- maybe someone would notice my Snoopy shirt and think I was who I happen, in fact, to be. Only the new haircut could possibly throw them off.
At this point I activated my Life Forms Analyzer and pointed it in all directions. Most of the creatures had a silicon structure, which was a dead giveaway that they weren't from here -- but then I got a reading of carbon-based, and at the same moment I heard, Sonny? OMG, it was Nan, and Doris, her librarian friend from Boston. They had taken the HyperTransport train, arriving 40x faster than normal, and had their system loaded with with VirtualPC, thus escaping detection by the aliens, who are still using Windoze 1898.
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Nan and Doris |
Mastodon Sonny and Nan |
We decided to have a byte to eat, and got to know each other -- Nan was to the Expo already and had gotten some mini-micies for her laptop -- as the raindrops started to fall and the aliens seemed to slowly melt away. I brought a large mat board and a number of permanent markers with me, which I wanted to have all those attending the special get-together to create a momento of the occasion -- an idea that I got from a French friend in the Canary Islands, Jöelle, who held frequent fiestas in her small-town home and the guests would fill up a poster board with colorful drawings and quotes and stuff, which she would later frame and display on the walls. So I went to the Festiva to get the board and just as I approached the Bryant Hotel, I unknowingly stepped onto a large smoothly-worn grate in the middle of the street, wet with rain, and fell flat on my back! Luckily there weren't any cars approaching, or I might have wound up strained through the freekin grate! Luckily #2 -- when I looked up from the street, still somewhat dazed, there was Jonathan offering me his hunky arm to help get me up -- boy, did it ever! I was dripping blood from my elbows -- and don't they ever wash these streets? My arms and hands were all black and it didn't even come off with soap and water!
So we picked a table in the plaza, right in front of where Gertrude Stein was quietly sitting (it's sometimes amazing who one will meet in NY), that world travelling art aficionado who knew all the great artists of her day and amased a fabulous collection of her own -- and began our personal tribute to this wonderful meeting.
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Gertrude was able to make it to the gathering, somehow, so we dedicated the momento board to her -- plus her art expertise helped somewhat with our masterpiece -- she watched from a discrete distance while we did our thing |
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The
finished ->
<- Artwork
Masterpiece
Nan and one of her favorite poets, William Cullen Bryant -- after whom the park was named
OK, time to move on. Nan said she had a premonition that the hostages may have been taken to a Church (it seems to be the place of choice these days -- one of those copycat things, of course!), so we all got into the Festiva, somehow, and headed off to East 50th Street to follow the new lead. I found a handy parking space again, a couple blocks from our destination (I always grab the first one I find, just in case). A block or two away we did happen upon a very large Church, and I asked a group of young tourist dudes if this was St. Barts -- unfortunately they spoke French, and couldn't help very much, although one dude did tell me he loved my Castelbajac Peanuts shirt -- not surprisingly he knew of the designer!
So we opened the massive bronze doors and took refuge inside, hearing some celestial organ music as we entered. OMG, it was St. Patrick's Cathedral! Why didn't Evelio ever bring me here -- he did drag me way out to the other side of New York to see that fabulous Church that is still under construction -- St. John The Divine is its name, if I'm not mistaken. But he was a sculptor, and he knew some of the artisans working on the embellishments. I love that place!
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A youthful chamber music ensemble was practicing before the main altar -- while the monster organ near the center front entrance was offering some fugues -- in Germany I would go to the organ concerts whenever I could find them and could sit for hours just listening to the fabulous music! The candlelit Messiah (Handel) in Bremen was awesome! And did the trumpets ever sound! |
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I would have remained there for hours, but we were on a more important quest -- one that perhaps had undercurrents of that homeplanet security crap that they shove down our throats so much lately. We left the sanctuary of St. Patricks and continued down the street -- and there it was, St. Barts (curiously, St. Bartholomew's was also the name of the first Catholic grade school I went to in Philadelphia a couple centuries ago!).
We asked several people in the cloister-like setting if Dan, Donna or a bunch of others from the Apple gang had been there -- Apple gang?, they replied. Not yet, but there were a couple weird-looking dudes asking for a Sonny, and they had with them five wheelbarrows filled with what they called George's bananas, although they looked a lot like really large GOLD bars! Oh, well, guess we just missed them -- what would I do with so many bananas anyway?
This was more than enough time and energy spent following false leads already, so we just collapsed into comfy chairs at the outdoor cafe, and ordered something to refresh our parched gullets. I had two cafes doble (a double expresso, which they served in a cup -- I actually prefer it in a glass, as they serve it in Spain, but hey, at this point I wasn't being picky!) I think I guzzled two pitchers of ice water while there, to wash the coffee down and to rehydrate myself.
While enjoying our refreshments, a bright laser-like light appeared in front of us, and the aliens apparently beamed down John, one of our wonderful aapl group, and, with guitar in hand, he did a special rendition of Mack The Knife, in memory of our dear abducted Donna. I can only assume that they will release Dan and Donna one of these days -- once they finish extracting the new Jagwire from their memory banks. I just hope they give it to them as dialup modem downloads, and in the wrong order -- which they should enjoy immensely!
WOWSERS, is he sizzling hot! And the other gals and guys in the band are kewl too. Now it's that kind of tune that would make a much better background to all those Twitcher Ads that Apple came out with recently. I should have invited Jonathan to come with us -- after all, he did save my life and all, and he could have told Steve about this kewl band!
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John came over to our table and talked about old tymes, when Ron and Dan and the gang would stop by after the Expo. He doesn't post much because his new Kid-On-the-Block occupies him a lot, naturally. He did play a few other tunes, among them one dedicated to the G4 - and a 20 meg HD. Really catchy! On the right you can see just how hot he was, just for the record! Oh, yeah, that's my Snoopy shirt, in case you hadn't noticed it yet. |
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Nan, Doris and I headed out once again, and after the usual EURO huggie/kissy thing (I guess it is about time we, here, begin kissing up EURO style -- it seems to be the in-thing lately), they got a taxi back to the hotel to rest up for another full day at the Expo -- and I back to where the Festiva was still hopefully waiting for me. When I got there I noticed that across the street was a something that looked sort of familiar. Can you imagine -- I was right across the street from an entrance to Rockefeller Center, with that enormous gilt Art Deco sculpture! Evelio and I would come here frequently, and I would check out a foreign bookshop right there in the promenade to look for science books. It was fun, in those days, to share these experiences with him -- and it all comes back to me when I am here once again, this time sharing somewhat different things with other friends. I really wish I would force myself out more often!
The return trip to Trenton was a breeze -- no construction delays -- although I did take a different exit, just to see where it would lead me -- and got lost! I did happen upon a Dunkin Donuts, though, and got myself a large Coolata -- and since the gal told me that I could get another 6 donuts for a measly $1 after the dozen I already selected, I wound up with 18 donuts to take home with me -- well, not exactly -- I ate 3 of them right there in the parking lot with that refreshing iced coffee -- and had another three for breakfast! The last twelve should last me, with any luck, another day or two.
So how should I sum up this excitingly eventful day? More fun than a wheelbarrel of monkeys! This was one get-together that was simply, quite literally, out of this world!
If things always went as we sort of imagine they will, life just wouldn't be as interesting most of the time. It's perhaps these sudden thunderstorms, and unexpected heavenly music, and being helped up after a fall, and sharing things with others that adds richness to one's life -- and perhaps adds richness to that of others. Have you hugged your Gertrude or extraterrestrial today?
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